My Minty Fresh Lobotomy

by brendan on October 25, 2006

Someone, Confucius, I think, once said “If someone offers you a breath mint, take it.”

Today, someone at work just gave me some Starbucks mints. My God. I feel like I’ve had a nasal abortion. These things should come with a warning stating ‘Caution: These mints will cause temporary blindness. Upon eating, your nasal cavity will be pried open with an invisible pepperminty crowbar and your brain will try to seep out of the newly created hole.’

These things are so gnarly that Starbucks doesn’t put them on their website. They are damn good, though, and, like a crack addict, I’m craving some more. They are minty enough to clear up your stank breath after the rare rib eye you just scrafed, but watch out. You might want to remove your contacts before popping a few of these.

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